Almost There

I have two more days to finish my dissertation, and I still haven't written a conclusion, the last third or so of the first chapter, and about half the introduction. All because I actually took a break over Christmas. Still, I don't think I could have kept going at the pace I was going before without breaking down. I'm lucky that I didn't get sick! Because I was so afraid of getting sick, I took a maitake mushroom supplement. It's expensive, but it's a powerful immune system booster. I knew ecchinacea just wasn't going to cut it. There were a few times when I felt a sore throat coming on, but I have successfully warded sickness so far (I hope this won't be a case of "famous last words").

So, the unwritten parts will necessarily be rushed and incomplete...right now I'm just aiming for the illusion of completeness. Half the time I feel anxious about that, because I know I'm not going to want to touch this after finishing at all, but there is a part of me that wants to get all my ideas out on the page.

Being in grad school you can really suffer from a sort of Stockholm syndrome.... Sure it would be nice to turn my dissertation into a book just to have that achievement under my belt, but when I really think about it, aren't there a million other things I'd rather accomplish? Being in the academic mileau, however, makes you judge your self worth by the standards that surround you. It's going to be great to finish this degree...will it be just as great to let go of this world?